This week is dedicated to million-dollar mantras. The mantras I choose to live by! I know these will help you live a more balanced and happy life. Don’t forget to leave me your questions and comments below. Let’s learn to stop worrying about what other think!
Million-dollar mantra #1: Stop worrying about what other people think!
If you’re doing what’s right… your intentions are good and they are well thought out, you don’t need to spend an ounce of your energy worrying about what other people think; much less trying to convince people or win other people’s approval. If you know in your heart that you are doing what is right, if you’re intentions are pure and you’re worrying about what other people think, then you are not living according to your own rules.
I mean… don’t forget that most people, generally speaking, are pretty negative and other people’s negativity typically isn’t personal. Most negative people are negative, not just to you but to just about everybody and to be completely honest, it’s how they get a response from people, it’s how they make themselves feel important. And even when the situation does seem personal, even if someone is insulting you directly, it usually is less to do with you and a lot more to do with them.
Them, Not You
Other people’s opinions are 90% of the time based on their own self-reflection. So rather than worrying about pleasing people who quite frankly will never be happy or be happy with themselves, just be you and live according to you! Stop working so hard to please these people… make me a promise, make yourself a promise to just do what’s right.
Know what your intentions are… be pure about that and be honest with yourself and treat other people the same way you would want to be treated. Of course apologize if you hurt someone and especially if you know that you did something wrong. Apologize and move forward.
Don’t spend a moment thinking about other people’s opinions of you if you know you’re doing what’s right and you’re doing not only what’s right for you but what’s right based on your principles and in accordance with the way you want to live your life.
Spend Time with What Matters
Promise to spend far less time on people who spend all of their time criticizing others. Be aware and be careful not to spend too much time or energy on people who are stuck, who aren’t doing much. They don’t have the type of integrity, priorities and persistence and the direction that you have.
Remember, it’s okay to laugh at your mistakes because you’re going to make them. So don’t worry about people pointing them out for you, don’t worry about perfection. There isn’t a perfect person, there’s so much more power in humility and there’s great courage that can be found in vulnerability and why do I say that?
Because you’ve got to be open to whom you are and the progress that you’re making and that sometimes means being vulnerable and it’s difficult to be vulnerable if we’re always worried of what other people think.
Self-Esteem
If you show me someone who’s consumed with what other people think, I will show you someone who’s stuck. They are typically uncomfortable to be around. They are difficult to connect with and they are certainly not very inspirational. We are all human, and it’s really hard to do good things if you don’t feel good about yourself. Even if you’re perfect in every sense of the word, there is going to be a handful of people that will still find fault with you, period, end of subject. And no place is that more obvious than on Facebook.
I have to admit that from time to time, I get distracted by this too. Our brain can zero in on negative comments and negativity. My friend Dr. Mcayla Sarno says, “the reason why this is, is not because we’re necessarily attracted to negative but we look for negative as a way to protect ourselves” in other words, our brain looks for danger, our brain looks for things that makes us susceptible and because of that our brains are conditioned to notice negative.
No Negative Platforms
It’s one thing to notice negative, it’s quite another to engage in it and to give it energy. So, from time to time I’ll have a thousand really positive comments on Facebook, and then one negative comment from just one person. And not only will I find myself wanting to engage with this person, but I’ll see everybody else starting to engage with this one person, which as you can imagine, gives it legs. And then the conversation turns from whatever positive thing we were talking about to a negative debate. Don’t give negativity a platform and don’t give it energy.
And the same is true of those people in our lives who do the same thing. They want to disagree with you, they want you to feel judged; basically they just want attention from you, even if it’s negative attention. Well, don’t give it to them because when you give it to them, it just grows stronger.
Promise me that in the next 12 months, you’ll recognize that negative energy grows when you give it attention. So take a deep breath, delete it, dismiss it and just ignore it. Stop worrying!
Don’t forget… I love ya! I believe in you! You are the bomb-dot-com and thank you for reading. Leave me a comment and tell me what you think about this post!
~ Chalene
There’s a lot of talk around town about my latest program, The Courageous Confidence Club. I would love for you to hear what other people are saying about this program, just go here >> Courageous Confidence Club. One thing I’ve learned is that even with all the answers, if you don’t have confidence, you won’t progress forward. That is why I’ve made it my mission, my push goal, my purpose this year to help 10,000 people build their confidence.
Sound advice, as always! Thank you!
I absolutely love this, needing this advice to the core!!
This is something I constantly struggle with. I tell people I let it roll off but the truth is the negativity hurts. The more I hear the more it hurts. The more time that passes the more time I have to analyze and think. The ideas start to get in my head. It’s hard to forget and move on or walk away from confrontations, esp at work.
Michelle, take a photo of this mantra and save to your wallpaper on your phone that way you are always reminded of the positive 🙂 that you are living for you and not for others. Anytime you feel those ideas get into your head, just go to your phone and remind yourself 🙂 Stay strong!
Been a lifelong battle of mine many believe bc I’m an identical Twin but more so bc of my perfectionism. I’m at constant battle with in self trying to be the best I can but to my demise set up society expectations Nerd prayer!
I totally agree with this. I will make that promise.
This is my MOTO…
I had the pleasure this weekend of talking to a 16 year old girl. We started the conversation out with, she was so excited she made the baseball team, but was worried about what others would say or think and ATTITUDE. We ended the conversation/chat about an hour later. With her telling me that she was so glad that we started talking and that what I said really help
just what I needed today! Thank you!! You Rock!!
You’re welcome!!! 🙂
I’ve read many books on this negativity and catch it right away in people. I’ve learned to steer clear of oit and take a positive outlook on everything. Thank you for the article it is a great reminder that in doing the right thing! Love turbo jam and now enjoying the turbo fire!!!!!!
Thanks Carrie!
I am in the 4th week of your PIYO DVDs and feeling stronger and better every day. I am looking forward to reading all your Mantras because I need my mind to be as strong as my body.
I have had many struggles with this one for years however in the last year I’ve made great progress. For awhile I treated this person the same way they treated me and I realized not only did they not care but all I did was lower myself to their level. YUCK I don’t want to be like that. Whenever that feeling starts to rise in me I take a deep breath and just say, you’re better then that be true to God and yourself!
Thank you for taking your gifts to the public to help others. I appreciate you!
This is so true. I always wondered why we focus on so much negativity. This is something that many of us, including myself, have to work on. Our self-perception ties in with always trying to please others, too. Always focusing one what we don’t like about ourselves because of what others may or may not expect of us. We live our lives for others’ expectations of us, and it makes us miserable. I want to love myself just the way I am, but always trying to please others makes me dislike what I see in the mirror, is an example. I went on a tangent there, but I feel that it is all interconnected.
amen Angie! 🙂 Stay true to YOU!
Chalene,
I love you and all you are about. I’ve been doing your workouts since 2009 and after following your blogs, your 30 day fix, watching your JAMMED blips after turbo jam, and exercising with you I feel like I know you and that you truly care about each person you talk to through the camera and online. Thank you for all you do and are
Thank you for reminding me. This is one thing I need to think about everyday in my family life especially and at work. You are a wonderful inspiration and I thank you
You’re so welcome!!! We all need some added encouragement sometimes 🙂
I have two people in my life that are just plain ole toxic. They love to keep me down and make me feel bad. I was upset all the time. I didn’t know until I read this that I was feeding the negativity. It was really hard for me to just call it quits, because it is my mom and sister. But last year , late last year around sept. I just couldn’t take it any more. So , after trying several times to talk to them about how I felt, which never went well, I just blocked all their numbers, so they can’t call. I blocked all forms of communication. I feel guilty sometimes, but I am happier. Feeling more confident and really enjoying my life! I have my boundaries in place and they will just have to deal with that.
I needed this today. I grew up in a house where we weren’t being negative or pessimistic, according to my dad, we were being “realistic “. Well, I have since learned that you cannot be positive and optimistic and realistic. The realism cancels everything else out and its just another name for negativity. Sometimes I regress a bit so reading this today was just the boost I needed. Thank you Chalene!
Chalene~
Your articles are always so inspiring and things we all need to work on daily. Thank you for putting yourself out there for us.
I read your posts daily as it is part of my 15 min a day motivations!!
PS- PiYo ROCKS!!!
Awesome insight! I took your advice and set this as my wallpaper as a reminder. You are such an inspiration Chalene – thank you!!
wonderful words and inspiration! Especially loves the comment Don’t spend too much time with people who spend ALL of their time criticizing others! Forwarded to my daughter who is having this struggle.
Thank you for this! I am planning some big moves (out of state and career wise) and have met opposition from some close ppl in my life. I don’t think they are intentionally hateful but their view is skewed bc the vision was not given to them. I am learning through this process to trust my small voice and block out the rest. Thanks again bc this post was the encouragement I needed to stay the course and live out my purpose! God bless!
This is so true…”They want to disagree with you, they want you to feel judged; basically they just want attention from you, even if it’s negative attention. Well, don’t give it to them because when you give it to them, it just grows stronger.” Thank you for putting what I was feeling into words. Love your energy Chalene!
Enjoying reading this. Have to agree to not feed energy to negativity. Thank you for such an interesting blog.
Okay, I’m waaay late to the party . Is this still a thing ?