After our Smart Success Seminar in March of 2014, everyone left a-buzz about “their story.” In fact, there was so much talk about your story and beliefs that I knew we had touched a chord in people.
Considering the profound effect of the messages from Bo Eason and Dr. Mcayla Sarno, I felt it was important to share my observations and help you make sense of what it means to have “a story.”
In case you’re short on time… Here’s the cliff notes of How to Tell Your Story:
1. You have more than one story.
2. Your “deepest, darkest moment” story probably has something to do with your purpose or what you’re doing and how you’re doing it.
3. Not every situation calls for you to share the story of your deepest, darkest moment.
4. Most negative beliefs stem from childhood experiences or an unprocessed traumatic event – and that might be one story.
5. Once you conquer those negative beliefs you may very well feel compelled to share that story to help others.
6. Your “story” doesn’t belong in every speech/video/conference call, but stories in general help us to connect!
7. We all connect on a deeper level when we learn to be better storytellers.
8. If you don’t feel like you have a story or any stories… I guarantee it’s there! It might just be too uncomfortable for your brain to go there, but everyone has a story. Go to a safe place to figure it out… like therapy.
EVERYONE has a story, and you have more than one story! Learn to be a better storyteller! In order to do that, you have to do some work connecting with who you are and yes, it may be scary and uncomfortable for some. The good news is this…the more that thought scares you, the more powerful your story!
Here’s MY big ah-ha moment after Smart Success…
The difference between those people we connect with and those who make us feel a little stiff, on-guard and uncomfortable is that those people who make us feel a little uncomfortable are actually pretty uncomfortable with letting people get to know them. We can feel that. I’m sorry. You’re not hiding it very well.
The people who are difficult to connect with have a tough time connecting with others— even if they are at the top of their ladder! There’s a reason for it…
These folks haven’t themselves yet connected with who they are and what they’ve overcome. People who are guarded are doing so not because they don’t trust you. People are guarded because they don’t trust themselves. They fear that they will let a detail or a piece slip out that will tip you off that they are not really what they seem.
People who have spent a lifetime trying to run from, escape, avoid and deny their past or a painful experience often have become so good at it, they truly believe it when they say, “I’m over it. It was nothing. It didn’t affect me.”
But then, why can’t you talk about it.
But then… why is your mind so busy making certain none of those pieces slip out?
Why? Because you still haven’t “processed it.” Until we process that childhood event which instilled a negative belief in us, our ability to rationalize it is often at about the maturity level of a child.
Suggestions
My suggestion to you is this… don’t work on telling a story that you haven’t yet uncovered. Don’t spend thousands of dollars and expect that someone is going to give you a shot of confidence that suddenly gives you the power to finally tell your story. You will have to find the courage it takes to connect with yourself.
You will have far greater impact with your story in video or on the stage after you have worked through it yourself. There’s a difference between “telling” someone about what happened to you and sharing the connection of your past. Storytelling is powerful only when it teaches us something. If we are just reciting our past and carefully making certain not to show emotion or connect or feel any part of it, then we are not storytellers. That’s a narrator.
Moving Words
To have power, our stories must move people to believe it is possible for them! Our story should help others understand that they too can overcome. Everyone has a sad time or a darkest day. Those moments don’t inspire, lift or motivate others unless we can articulate how we were able to overcome to be who we are today. You need to be able to connect the dots yourself first and that often takes some outside help. Again, the smartest people I know, the best speakers, the most motivational leaders all proudly share that they were intelligent enough to seek out the help of an expert or a therapist.
Sometimes we are so close to our own lives that we just, “don’t see the big deal” or understand how so many things we do today are connected to our past.
Everything’s better with a story! Experts like my friend Bo Eason will help you become a better storyteller. He is not going to uncover your story. He cannot help you process your negative beliefs. That’s your job. He will help you become a captivating teacher, a predator, a living breathing re-enactment. You learn to connect with your audience. He helps you tell every story with power.
So Many Story Options
You have more than one story, but identifying the story that put a fire in your belly is something special. Understanding your purpose and why you have been called to help others and the reason why you love a certain part of your job…and why you do it differently… that part surely relates to your toughest challenge.
There’s always an opportunity to connect with people through story. Get better at it! To get really good at it you’re going to have to get really good at being the real you. To get really comfortable with the real you, you may need to enlist the help of an expert, a therapist, an EMDR specialist to help you safely work through those negative beliefs that may be holding you back or holding you prisoner.
Imagine what it would feel like to stand boldly on the stage and tell your story without fear of judgment. Imagine what it would feel like to connect with strangers and feel 100% confident that they would adore you. It’s possible.
Not every video and over opportunity merits sharing your big life defining story, but understanding yours will help you connect your purpose to your past.
Understanding your past and what it is you’ve been called to do will help you connect the dots! When you connect your dots, people connect to you!
Story Ideas
You have more than one story. Don’t forget the story of how you met and remember the story about how you finally decided that you needed to make a change in your life. Take people back to that moment when you almost gave up… and don’t forget to explain what it was like to climb out of debt. These are stories. When you learn to connect them to your beliefs and understand how you were able to do what you did, they become experiences that change people lives. They live them with you, and crawl out of the bunker with you!
People will want to hear the story of how you survived that car crash, having twins, dealing with a mentally disturbed parent, digging yourself out of debt, recovering from alcoholism, surviving the death of a child and so many other things you might just take for granted.
You have more than one story. It wouldn’t make sense for you to always tell the same story.
However, your deepest, darkest, toughest time probably has a lot to do with what fuels you, what give you your passion. In other words… the CPA who feels the need to protect their clients may have had an experience in early childhood that made them feel like they needed to shelter people. The trial attorney may now realize they have chosen a profession in which their voice has power; the power to convict, the power to win because as a child they were told their opinion didn’t matter.
So what is it about your past and your experiences that influences the way you live your life and your approach to business and the world?
Your story is what draws people to you before they even know what it is. There’s something about you… When people know your story and how you survived, changed, or took action, they develop a deeper feeling of trust, admiration and appreciation for you. Despite the fact that our “story” sometimes makes us feel shame, embarrassment, pity, fear or judgment, it also allows people to connect to us.
Action Steps for How to Tell Your Story
Steps 1-4…
#1: Consider seeing a therapist to help you connect the dots of your past.
#2: Learn how your past fuels your fire today.
#3: Be proud of that story.
#4: Become a better storyteller.
Kimberly Mitchell Crayton says
It helps a great deal to readreadthat we have more than one story. My most recent story is still too clise to me to see it as I emerge back into life and light. This article helps Chalene Johnson. .. thanks!
judy says
Is Charlene with Bret or Shaun. The site was confusing
Thanks
Judy
admin says
Chalene played on April Fools joke. She is very happily married to Bret. 🙂
Lillianne Echevarria says
So well written! I’m so grateful that I was able to connect with myself and my walls are down and can trust myself! I had the courage to seek help at a moment where I didn’t want to live and dealt with so many aspects of mi past, I probably have enough stories to write a novel!! Reading this brought back memories of the time where I was very brave and I’m glad that I was just reminded of it! Blessings.
Jackie McCleskey says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9PrfROzIT8&sns=em
This is the link to my YouTube video featuring your choreography to “Happy” by Pharell! I want to share it with you because you inspired me to take a chance to step outside my comfort zone and send it into my company Nerium International to see if they would play it at our national conference!! I informed Nerium Corporate who you were , and we ALL LEARNED THE CHOREOGRAPHY. And guess what?? They played it in front of 15,000 of us :))
Below is a coup of that!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4tFQXuHqQU&sns=em
It’s truly a dream come true for me. I’m a HAPPINESS AMBASSADOR with The Live Happy Movement & #Jeff Olson. Changing Lives Globally 1 person at a time!
Thank you for being an INSPIRATION TO ME AND TO MANY!!
~Jackie
admin says
Jackie, this is incredible! So exciting what you have accomplished by stepping out of your comfort zone! Thanks for sharing!
Manesseh Ibanez says
I REALLY loved this blog on Telling Your Story! I’ve never really looked at my life in this way as a means of connecting deeper with people. Thank for the step by step on how to learn how to tell “your story” in a effective and more meaningful way.
Cece Sepulveda says
I love Chalean Extreme!! I’ve always been a high impact cardio girl, but thanks to Chalene, she forced me to slow down and let my muscles do the work instead of momentum. I hated it at first, and I still do at times, lol. But I know its exactly what I need. My body is stronger and better looking than when I was a high school cheer leader. I will follow Chalene no matter what. Can’t wait to see her new video PiYo. By the way, I’m 35, married with 2 kids and a full time job. My last son was born 5 months ago and I am back to a size 4 already and still shrinking. I started out with Insanity and moved on to Chalean Extreme. I am forever a fan, I wish I could meet you and tell you how awesome you are. Anyway, back to work.
Tiffany Mason says
This was a truly inspirational article. It’s all about feeling comfortable within your own skin and sharing your story with others.
Because of you, I’ve become even more inspired to continue writing my book, The Power of Adversity and share my story with others. Thank you for the work that you do, Chalene!
Cecelia says
Chalene never lets her people down and if she does she comes back picks up the pieces. She’s proven to be a trusted role model for young women.
As a trauma survivor without a doubt learning to tell your story affects all areas of your life. This article filled my heart with hope that people are listening. I never understood why I always had a hard time when it came to storytelling until I faced my demons. Many people (you don’t have to have trauma) especially women are groomed to be silent, socially and culturally. Therefore, you never learn, you do not practice telling your truth.