How to break up with drama
You have probably realized by now that having friends usually means that there will be some added drama in your life. The more you talk to someone, the more they share their world with you, which includes their problems and issues. It’s great to support and be there for your friends, but if the drama is getting to be too much, it might be time to break up with it. Breaking up with a friend is not easy or ideal but you can’t continue your life with all that added stress and chaos. Here are some tips for distancing yourself from that unnecessary drama and how you can start today.
In order to decide if you need to break up with your friend, you first have to look at your relationship and see what the core of the problem is. In order to analyze your relationship, look at how you feel when you’re with that friend or even texting or talking to them. Do you feel responsible for them, like you have to take care of them? Or is the relationship balanced in that you both share stories, questions, and ask for advice? Does your friend support you, or are you doing all the heavy lifting? How do you feel emotionally before, during, and after spending time with this person? If you get some negative or unhappy answers to those questions, you have two options, slowly stop or break it off.
- Slowly stop rescuing them
After looking at your relationship if you want to keep them in your life, just change the frequency of communication, then you can slowly stop rescuing them. To do this you would do things like not answer every text or call they make to you. Don’t rush in to save the day for them every time, and adjust how you respond to them when you do respond. You need to keep yourself accountable which means you decide how often you talk and what you say when you do it. This method will help your friend learn that they can’t always rely on your to save the day, and that you have a life beyond the friendship you two share.
- Break it off
If you looked at your relationship and you just can’t keep that person in your life anymore then you need to break it up. This means you need to have a conversation with that friend and explain why you need to stop talking. In this conversation you will keep the focus on you, and why you need to stop instead of attacking them and blaming them for this change. Tell them that the relationship is in a place where you spend too much time worrying about them, and you want to redirect your attention and emotion so that you both have healthy lives. It’s not anyone’s fault, and you feel like you aren’t helping your friend with your current efforts. This conversation may not go well but it’s important to express how you feel and why you have those feelings. It’s not fair to you or your family to be so consumed with one person that you can’t care for others or yourself.
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