This guy! He’s my rock and my partner in life. Over the last 20+ years we’ve learned a lot about what works in our relationship, and what doesn’t. As our relationship has grown, we’ve realized that the personality traits that used to drive us nuts, are actually what makes our relationship strong.
I don’t think we’re the only couple that’s struggled with this. We used to get incredibly frustrated with each other because the other person wasn’t doing something the way WE wanted it done. Typically this would lead to an argument, which would then lead to emotional disconnection in our relationship. We didn’t understand that the other person was doing it THEIR way… and it’s not wrong, just different.
After being married for as long as we have, we started to realize that our differences were what made us stronger. We balanced each other out. My weaknesses are his strengths, and visa versa.
In the past, we’d recognize this as being a weakness in our relationship. But we’ve come to realize that we can go to each other for help areas that we’re not personally strong in.
We now trust each other’s strengths.
We divide and conquer.
We use our weaknesses, to strengthen our relationship.
Around Christmas time this year, it was apparent that my workaholic weakness was sneaking its ugly head out. Usually we take the month of December off. We enjoy the process of getting ready for the holidays, and I focus on being present with my friends and family.
However, I ended up turning December into a month with a tremendous amount of work. What was so amazing was the fact that none of it became overwhelming because of Bret.
We are partners in everything; parenting, projects, ideas and life!
He reminded me that December isn’t about having the best Christmas card or having the perfect gift. Jesus truly is the reason for the season and I thank God for blessing me with a guy willing to go through tough times with me, willing to ask if he can help take a load off – without me having to ask – and a guy who every single day does thoughtful, sweet things that make me feel special.
It’s not all perfect. There’s plenty of mess around here. But you stick together and if you remember you’re on the same team – it’s crazy how rewarding a marriage can be.
I love you Bret!
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Remembering you are in the same team is so important.appreciating that we all do things differently, our way is not the only way! In relationships I have struggled ……divorced when my kids were 4&6. Got away from a verbally and physically abusive man! I was a shell of a person when I left. I did find myself again after therapy . Met a man I believed was going to be my ‘always’. Sigh not so. He was not the man I thought he was, when he showed his true self it was not a healthy happy relationship!! Time to start over again!!!!!!! Finally with the one I am meant to be with , finally! We have both gone through lots of crap in our lives but we have learned and grown from it. We are different in our characters but that’s ok…..we appreciate each other, we respect each other. Learned from our mistakes! Do I get mad sometimes YES does HE with ME YES…….that’s life. wjen I see you a video of you and Bret it is a great reminder and what a healthy respectful loving marriage looks like! Your guidance is much appreciated.