Nothing is more important to our health and happiness than the health of our relationships! They take work. Nothing worth having comes without effort. Please comment if you agree! Research shows that couples who exercise together have a deeper emotional connection.
Get Coupling
Don’t be discouraged if your partner doesn’t love working out with you or if he or she has yet to share your love for health and fitness. Often the “less fit or healthy” partner feels judged by the partner who is in fact on the right path. If your attempts have been unsuccessful, before you throw in the towel, try 5 more times! Try a different approach. If it’s not working, think about what has worked to get your partner to try or do something in the past that wasn’t their idea. Be creative. No one knows your partner better than you.
Get Creative
It’s funny to me that so many people KNOW that what they’re trying won’t work with their partner, but they still keep using the same approach. Be the bigger person. Don’t give up. Use the approach you believe will have the best result. Respond in love. Respond in kind. Make your partner feel adored, supported and loved. Remember that it’s not the intensity or even the effectiveness of the workout. It’s the time together and the support you give your partner. Instead of making it about you or your expertise or your favorite workout, put your partner in the high seat. Make it about them or what they are good at! Keep trying. Don’t give up. Be creative and loving. When your partner feels adored, he or she is far more likely to try something new.
Simple Ideas
If your partner isn’t willing to be on display publicly at a gym, try some of these ideas:
- YouTube videos at home
- Walking
- Rollerblading
- Tennis
- Dumbbells at home
- Frisbee golf
- Hiking
- Boxing lessons
Do you workout with a partner? If so, what do you do together? Comment below!
Helpful Resources: Chalene’s Courageous Confidence Club: www.courageousconfidenceclub.com
This program gives you the tools you need to build confidence in every area of your life. You are supported by a group of people who are going through the program with you and are a sounding board for decisions and opportunities. This program gets you unstuck from your current situation and teaches you the steps needed to get your life moving in the direction you want! For help with goal setting and determining your life’s priorities, check it out!
My husband and I both are in serious need of exercising. I would LOVE to be more active with him! But he isn’t very receptive to the idea 🙁 Suggestions for help, PLEASE??!!!
I love working out with you in my living room every day. PIYO has changed my life !!! I can get a full workout in without joint pain !!! Thank you. I’m still trying to get my husband involved, hopefully he’ll want to join me soon
Amazing! I will try this . . .
My wife and I have always worked out together. We have done insanity, T25 and now doing PiYo together. It’s always better to support each other and I totally agree with this article, it makes us stronger physically, mentally and we appreciate each other for the support we give each other.
We did workout together doing HIIT and bodybuilding exercises. Now that I’m pregnant I can’t keep up due to pelvic instability, but as soon as it’s over (baby is due on Valentine’s Day, so then it will take some months to be bearable), we start again kayaking in our two-seater kayak! Looking forward to that 😀
Thank you for this advice! My husband refuses to exercise and it drives me crazy. He knows how passionate I am but it just hasn’t clicked with him. I will keep trying.
OH! And for all you hot mamas that are frustrated with your man not working out with you (or at all), let me encourage you. We went through that phase at first. My husband is a Marine and once he got out, he decided that he wasn’t going to do another PT type thing again ever. LOL. It frustrated me because I could see how it was affecting his health but he would (gently and with good humor) completely blow me off when I suggested we working out. Finally, I decided that I just needed to do my thing for me and let him make up his own mind. The funny thing was, when I got down and dirty with my workouts and started seeing results, he noticed. I stopped hounding him to workout (with or without me) and concentrated on myself. Interestingly enough, I came home one day to see him lacing up his running shoes. When he grudgingly told me he was going out for a run, I just smiled and told him to have good time. I only told him “I told you so.” Months later when we had settled into the swing of things and he took it good naturedly. Then I got pregnant with our second and when I stopped working out, so did he. (ARG!) But now that I am getting back into the swing of things (our baby girl is 2 months), he is now prepping to do P90X3 with some buddies! You do your workout for you and leave your man to himself. When he sees how happy and healthy you are with your workouts, he may be inclined to start his own! Our system isn’t perfect but it works for us right now! Good luck with your men! Remind them that they are totally worth it.
As a licensed marriage therapist, author, and a husband whose workout partner is his wife I affirm what you’re saying. In fact, I know for a fact that I would not have made the progress I made this past year in improving my health and transforming my body if not for being married to my workout buddy. Without her I would have made some excuse almost everyday. We will be married 28 years this June. BTW, as a therapist I can tell you that when couples have few common interests or shared activities that do not involve their children they are asking for trouble. And they better have more engaging activities than the occasional dinner & a movie date night. I told one couple last year, “You are suffocating your marriage with boredom.” Also Increasingly in our busy culture I see spouses living parallel lives instead of intersected ones. This leads to the slow gradual drifting apart. So I agree with Chalene–find SOME mutually enjoyed physical exercise and at least one recreational activity. Poke some air holes in the box of your marriage. 🙂
My husband and I met running 4 years ago, and were engaged when we ran the NYC Marathon together back in 2013. We have tried to maintain that connection with fitness and we’ve learned a lot through the years. Training for the marathon together, we learned that we are NOT good running partners after all! 🙂 We approach running differently (he zones out to music, I chit chat) and as a result we’ve modified our runs together. We did P90X together last week and that was REALLY fun, hoping he is up to do it again soon. I truly believe it is THE BEST thing to do together!!
Loved hearing you two talk about how you keep the connections on and romance going in your relationship. My husband and I have been married for almost 30 years, and I am going to start leaving him little notes now after listening to your podcast.
Life sometimes gets in the way, but I do know that there isn’t anyone else who I would want to be on this journey with; so I have to let him know how much I appreci him